What to do when your boyfriend wants you to lose weight?

It can be so uncomfortable when your boyfriend asks you to lose weight. As a woman, you already face enough societal pressure about your body image without your own partner adding to it. His request may come from a place of caring about your health, but it can still sting to hear that he thinks you’re obese or have gained too much weight.  

young couple wants to lose weight

Men often don’t realize how deeply weight and body image issues can affect women emotionally. For you, weight gain may have more to do with comfort, stress relief, and boredom than a lack of willpower.

To him, your extra pounds may seem fixable through diet and exercise while you struggle with more complex feelings. Though likely well-intentioned, his request can trigger insecurities and make you question your self-worth. What to do when your boyfriend wants you to lose weight?

The key is for both of you to have an open, honest discussion from a place of understanding each other’s perspectives. While specific healthy lifestyle changes may benefit your relationship, any journey toward wellness must start with love and acceptance, and respect for your autonomy over your own health goals.

What to do when your boyfriend wants you to lose weight?

After the initial discomfort of hearing your boyfriend’s request, the next step is determining the most constructive way to proceed. While each situation is unique, focusing on a few fundamentals can help guide your response. So, what should you do when your boyfriend wants you to lose weight? Follow the tips below:

  • Understand His Motivation

Your boyfriend’s reasons for making this request matter. Have a frank discussion to comprehend his perspective better. If he focuses on genuine concerns for your health and happiness, that shows care.

But superficial reasons centered on looks alone need addressing. Ask questions to assess the factors driving his suggestion. Affirm your value and autonomy regardless. Also read: is It Ok To Ask My Husband To Lose weight?

  • Consider Making Lifestyle Changes Together

With mutual goodwill, you could work towards healthier habits as a couple. But this must stem from your self-motivation. Gauge your boyfriend’s willingness to join you in:

  • Improving nutrition through more home-cooked meals, limiting takeout
  • Building moderate physical activity into your daily routines
  • Practicing relaxation techniques to cope with stress

With his love and encouragement, tell him any changes will happen at your pace.

  • Focus On Open, Respectful Communication

Explain that while you welcome input, decisions about your body are yours. Express how his request made you feel. Listen non-defensively to understand his viewpoint better. Find compromises that balance both perspectives. Also read: Advising Someone To Lose Weight Without Hurting His Feeling.

Agree that pressuring or criticizing weight/appearance has no place in your relationship. Make respect a firm foundation for moving forward together.

  • Set Healthy Boundaries

Clarity is key: let your boyfriend know his request does not obligate you to lose weight. Remind him that your self-worth does not hinge on a number on the scale. Any changes you make will be for your own well-being, confidence, and health – not to meet someone else’s ideal. With kindness but firmness, assert this boundary and expect him to honor it.

  • Prioritize Self-Love

Your weight exists independently from your value or worthiness of love. Before considering external changes, reflect on cultivating inner health: mindfulness, self-compassion, and joy.

Nourish strengths and qualities unrelated to size. Commit to treating yourself with the love and acceptance you deserve. This inner work forms the soundest basis for outer well-being. Also read: Why Is It Harder To Lose Weight In The Middle Ages?

  • Stay True To Your Needs And Values

Remember, the choice is yours. Evaluate whether weight loss aligns with your priorities, goals, and self-image. Protect your right to bodily autonomy. While others may share perspectives, the decision to alter your body – if at all – remains yours alone. Start by honoring your needs and values above anyone else’s desires.

  • Talk Through Any Insecurities On Both Sides

Discuss any underlying insecurities or concerns your boyfriend’s request stems from. Give him space to share his feelings vulnerably. You can do the same. Insecurity breeds insecurity – but transparency and understanding can break that cycle. Focus on listening without judgment and reassuring each other of your love and commitment.

  • Focus On Health, Not Arbitrary Weight Goals

Explain that health is about much more than a number on the scale. Your well-being depends on nutrition, activity levels, mental health, and self-care habits. Set meaningful weight loss goals focused on healthy lifestyle changes you both support – whether or not it leads to weight loss. Avoid rigid dieting or body shaming.

  • Ask Your Boyfriend To Support, Not Pressure You

Have a candid talk where you request specific ways your boyfriend can encourage rather than demand change. For example: asking how he can help with meal planning, joining you on walks, or giving you compliments unrelated to weight. Express that his love and acceptance – not nagging – will help motivate any lifestyle shifts.

  • Consider Seeking Help From A Medical Professional

Consult a doctor or nutritionist if you want guidance based on individual health needs. They can recommend a tailored plan incorporating diet, exercise, and mental health care. Professional support helps ensure a balanced, sustainable approach focused on well-being – not just aesthetics.

How to Get My Boyfriend To Lose Weight Without Hurting His Feelings?

What if you ask your boyfriend to lose weight – how do you do it appropriately? The same principles of respect, communication, and focus on health apply regardless of gender. Read: The Real Reason Why You May Be Losing Weight In A Your Relationship

You want to have the idea expressed positively, caringly, and solely. Here are ways you can get your boyfriend to lose weight the right way:

  • Focus On Health, Not Appearance

Explain that your concern stems from wanting him to live a long, fulfilling life free from preventable health issues. Remind him of his many admirable qualities that do not matter to size. Say you find him attractive no matter what but want him to feel his best. Reassure him that the decision is ultimately his, and you’ll support whatever feels right.

  • Start An Open, Honest Dialogue

Approach the issue gently by saying you want to discuss your thoughts in a spirit of love, care, and openness. Ask to hear his perspective first before sharing your own. Let him know this conversation is challenging but important for strengthening your connection and intimacy as a couple. Listen non-defensively, withhold judgment, and focus on understanding.

  • Listen To His Perspective

Your boyfriend may have complex reasons for his current habits linked to emotions, stress, or past experiences. Give him space to share what’s contributing to his lifestyle vulnerably. Without criticizing, reflect on what you hear to show you truly understand. Ask how you can best support him moving forward in a way that feels right for him.

  • Make Changes Together As A Team

Instead of dictating changes, ask in what specific ways he’d like your help: cooking healthier meals, joining a gym class, going for walks together, etc. Offer to make adjustments alongside him that you both enjoy. Avoid making demands or issuing ultimatums. Focus on nurturing your relationship, trusting that healthier habits will naturally follow.

  • Encourage Professional Help If Wanted

If your boyfriend desires guidance but needs more direction, suggest consulting his doctor to discuss a personalized plan. Explain that a medical professional can recommend physical and mental health strategies tailored to his needs and circumstances. This shows you want what’s best for him—his happiness and well-being—above all else.

Above all, approach the discussion from a place of loving intention, openness, and willingness to listen without judgment. Focus on understanding his perspective and supporting changes he truly feels motivated to make. You can navigate this delicate issue together to strengthen your relationship with patience, respect, and a united team mentality.


It can be a sensitive topic if your boyfriend asks you to lose weight. It is important to take time to understand his motivation and develop a constructive conversation together with respect. Focus on healthy lifestyle changes and open communication while prioritizing self-love and setting boundaries. Discuss based on mutual love and trust, and offer professional help for additional guidance. If the tables were turned and you’re now the one asking him to lose weight, ensure the same principles apply.

Medical Discalimer: The information provided here On Geeks Health website is for general informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition. If you have or suspect a medical problem, promptly contact your healthcare provider. Reliance on any information in this response is solely at your own risk.
Vanessa Roberts
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